Free guide · printable · Dr. Kegel for Women
How to talk to your doctor about leaks: a printable guide for women
Leaks when you sneeze or run, rushing to the bathroom, heaviness after birth or pain during intimacy are routine for gynecologists. Here’s what to say and ask.
It’s normal to bring this up
In one study, only about a third of middle-aged and older women with bladder leaks had talked to a doctor about it — often because it felt embarrassing or “just part of getting older or having children”. For your doctor it is a routine conversation, and there is usually a clear next step. You don’t need medical words: describe what happens in everyday situations.
Who to see
- Your family doctor (primary care) — a good first stop. They can check your urine and refer you on.
- Midwife or postnatal check — after birth, raise leaks, heaviness or pain at your postnatal check — you don’t have to wait for it to get worse.
- Gynecologist — for pelvic floor questions in pregnancy, after birth, in perimenopause and menopause.
- Urogynecologist — a specialist in women’s bladder problems and prolapse.
- Pelvic floor physical therapist (women’s health physio) — checks your technique with you and builds a plan — for strengthening, or for relaxing a tight pelvic floor if you have pain.
What to tell your doctor
Tick what applies and take this page with you.
- When it happens: sneezing, coughing, laughing, jumping, running, lifting, on the way to the bathroom, at night
- How often, and whether you use pads or liners
- Pregnancies and births: vaginal or C-section, forceps or vacuum, tears, and how long ago
- A heavy or dragging feeling, or a bulge you can see or feel — especially at the end of the day
- Pain during intimacy or when inserting a tampon
- Where you are in your cycle or menopause, and any hormone treatment
- Bowel habits: constipation, straining, or trouble controlling wind or stool
- Operations, medicines, and how much it affects exercise, work, sleep or relationships
6 questions to ask
- Can I do pelvic floor exercises — which ones — and can you check that I’m doing them right?
- Is my pelvic floor weak, tight or both? Should I strengthen it or learn to relax it first?
- Could this be prolapse? What options are there if it is?
- After my birth, would a supervised pelvic floor program suit me?
- Would a pelvic floor physical therapist help? Can you refer me?
- How long should I train before we judge whether it’s working, and which changes mean I should come back sooner?
If it feels awkward to start
Any of these openers works — or just hand over this page:
- “I’d like to talk about something a bit personal.”
- “Since having my baby, I leak when I sneeze or run.”
- “I sometimes feel a heaviness or bulge down below.”
- “Intimacy has become uncomfortable and I’d like to understand why.”
Until your visit
Stick to gentle breathing and relaxation: breathe slowly into your belly and let your pelvic floor soften as you breathe in. In the first weeks after birth, gentle breathing and light squeezes are the usual start. If you have pain, pregnancy complications, or had forceps, a vacuum or a severe tear, hold off on strengthening until your doctor or physio says it suits you.
Our free breathing-paced relaxation timer can guide you through it.
See a doctor soon if you have
- Blood in your urine — even if nothing else bothers you
- Pain or burning when you pee
- Pain in the pelvis, when squeezing or during intimacy
- A bulge you can see or feel, or a heavy dragging feeling that is getting worse
- Pelvic surgery in the last 3 months, or a catheter that is still in
- Pregnancy complications, or advice from your doctor to limit activity
- Symptoms that started suddenly or are getting worse fast
3-day bladder diary
Write down every drink, every time you pee, and every leak or strong urge for 3 days, and bring it to your appointment. Include at least one workday and one day off. Prefer your phone? Use the online bladder diary — it stays on your device.
Day 1 Date: ____________
| Time | Drink (what, how much) | Peed (✓ or amount) | Leak (small / large) | Urge 0–3 | What were you doing? |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Day 2 Date: ____________
| Time | Drink (what, how much) | Peed (✓ or amount) | Leak (small / large) | Urge 0–3 | What were you doing? |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Day 3 Date: ____________
| Time | Drink (what, how much) | Peed (✓ or amount) | Leak (small / large) | Urge 0–3 | What were you doing? |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Urge: 0 = none, 1 = mild, 2 = strong, 3 = had to rush / couldn’t wait.
This guide is general information for adults. It does not replace medical advice, and it is not intended to diagnose or treat any condition.