Reverse kegels for women: a gentle way to relax your pelvic floor

What a reverse kegel is

A kegel squeezes the pelvic floor and lifts it up and in. A reverse kegel does the opposite: it lets the pelvic floor lengthen, soften and drop a little. It’s also called pelvic floor relaxation or a “pelvic floor drop”.

That sounds like doing nothing — and for many women that’s exactly the point. If your pelvic floor tends to stay switched on, you may have never learned what fully “off” feels like. A reverse kegel teaches that on purpose, paired with a slow in-breath, so you can use it when you need it: on the toilet, before sex or a tampon, after a stressful day, or at the end of each kegel.

Why a pelvic floor gets stuck “on”

There’s rarely a single cause. Things that commonly feed a tight pelvic floor include:

• Pain itself. Muscles guard around a sore area — after a tear or stitches, an infection, endometriosis or a painful exam — and the guarding can outlast the original problem.
• Stress and anxiety. Many people brace their jaw, shoulders and pelvic floor when they’re tense, often without noticing.
• Holding habits. Putting off bathroom trips, “sucking in” your belly all day, or hovering over public toilets keeps the muscles working.
• Constipation and straining, which load and irritate the area.
• Too much squeezing. Hundreds of kegels a day without full rests can leave the muscles tired and tense.
• High-intensity sport with lots of bracing, such as heavy lifting, dance or gymnastics.

Knowing your likely triggers helps: relaxation practice works best alongside changing the habits that keep switching the muscles back on.

Who should start with reverse kegels

Kegels help when the pelvic floor is weak — leaking when you sneeze, after birth, or during exercise. But some women have the opposite pattern. Cleveland Clinic describes a hypertonic pelvic floor as muscles that don’t relax, which can cause pelvic pain, bladder and bowel problems, and painful sex.

Signs your pelvic floor may be tight rather than weak:

• pain with sex, tampons, menstrual cups or speculum exams
• an ache in the pelvis, low back, hips or tailbone, often worse after sitting
• a slow or stop-start urine stream, or needing to go again soon after
• constipation or needing to strain for bowel movements
• kegels made your symptoms worse

You can have both — a pelvic floor that’s tense and not very strong. That’s why a quick check comes first.

How to do a reverse kegel, step by step

1. Get comfortable. Lie on your back with knees bent and feet flat, or with your lower legs on a chair. Child’s pose or a supported deep squat also work well.
2. Soften the outside first. Unclench your jaw, drop your shoulders, let your glutes and inner thighs go. Put one hand on your lower belly.
3. Breathe in slowly through your nose for about 4–5 seconds. Let your belly, lower ribs and back widen.
4. Let the pelvic floor drop as you breathe in. Imagine the space between your sit bones widening, or the first second of letting pee start. The vaginal opening and anus soften and move down very slightly. Don’t push or strain.
5. Breathe out slowly for 5–6 seconds and let everything settle back on its own. Don’t squeeze on the out-breath — just let it return.
6. Repeat for 8–10 breaths, once or twice a day.

The reverse kegel timer paces the in-breath and out-breath for you, with audio cues so you can close your eyes.

Reverse kegel vs kegel

	Kegel	Reverse kegel
Movement	Squeeze and lift up and in	Soften, lengthen and drop
Breathing	Usually on the out-breath	On the in-breath
Feels like	Stopping gas and holding in pee	The first moment of letting pee start — without pushing
Helps with	Leaking with coughs, sneezes and exercise; control after birth	Tightness, pain with sex, trouble emptying, constipation
Common mistake	Squeezing glutes, thighs or belly; holding your breath	Pushing down hard or straining
Where it fits	Strength program	Relax-first program, and the “release” half of every kegel

NIDDK’s guidance on kegels makes the same point from the other side: squeezing the wrong muscles, holding your breath or pushing down instead of lifting are common kegel mistakes. A good kegel always ends with a full release — which is a small reverse kegel.

A 4-week plan

Week	What to do	Add
1	8–10 reverse-kegel breaths lying down, twice a day	Notice when you clench during the day
2	Same, plus one set seated after long sitting	Try child’s pose or happy baby for 5 breaths
3	One set before bed, one on the toilet before you start to pee	Footstool for bowel movements, breathe out instead of straining
4	Keep daily sets	If pain has eased, add a few gentle kegels, each followed by 2–3 reverse-kegel breaths

If your symptoms point to weakness as well, you’ll move on to strength training later — see kegels for women. NICE’s guideline says pelvic floor programs should be tailored to a woman’s ability to both contract and relax the muscles, and to any discomfort she feels.

Everyday situations where reverse kegels help

• On the toilet: sit fully, feet supported, breathe in and let the pelvic floor drop to let the stream start without pushing.
• Before a tampon, menstrual cup or exam: a few slow reverse-kegel breaths first can make insertion easier.
• Before intimacy: relaxation, time and lubricant matter. If pain continues, see our guide to pelvic pain and a tight pelvic floor.
• After a workout or a long day at a desk: many women clench without noticing. A minute of breathing resets the baseline.
• After birth: once you’re healing and feel ready, pairing each kegel with a full release helps you avoid building tension — see the pelvic floor after birth.

When reverse kegels aren’t enough

Reverse kegels are safe and simple, but they’re a starting point. See a gynecologist or pelvic health physical therapist if pain continues after a few weeks, if you have any of the red flags below, or if you can’t tell what your muscles are doing. A therapist can use biofeedback, manual techniques and, when appropriate, dilators to guide the process.

Frequently asked questions

Is a reverse kegel the same as pushing?

No. Pushing or bearing down uses your belly muscles and raises pressure on your pelvic organs. A reverse kegel is a gentle release: your belly stays soft, you breathe in slowly, and the pelvic floor drops a little on its own. If you feel strain or hold your breath, you're pushing too hard.

Can I do reverse kegels if I have prolapse?

Gentle relaxation on the in-breath isn't the same as straining, but if you have a known prolapse or feel heaviness or a bulge, check with a pelvic health physical therapist first. They can confirm what's right for you and how much to relax versus strengthen.

Do reverse kegels help with painful sex?

They can be part of the answer when pain comes from a tight pelvic floor. Learning to relax the muscles on purpose may make penetration more comfortable over time. Pain with sex has many causes, though, so it's worth a check with a gynecologist or pelvic health physical therapist too.

Should I do kegels and reverse kegels together?

A healthy pelvic floor needs to both squeeze and fully relax, so many programs pair every kegel with a full release. If your symptoms suggest tightness — pain, trouble emptying, constipation — relax first for a few weeks before adding strength work.

How long until reverse kegels help?

Many women find it takes a few weeks of daily practice just to feel the difference between clenched and relaxed. Changes in symptoms can take longer — from a few weeks to a few months. If there's no change after about 4–6 weeks, see a pelvic health physical therapist.

Sources

1. Hypertonic pelvic floor — Cleveland Clinic
2. Pelvic floor dysfunction — Cleveland Clinic
3. Kegel exercises — NIDDK
4. Pelvic floor dysfunction: prevention and non-surgical management (NG210) — NICE, 2021

This page is general education about exercise, not a diagnosis or treatment plan. Talk to a clinician about symptoms that are new, severe or getting worse.